Believing I Am Beautiful

I sat in my chair listening intently. Dan was giving the father’s day message at church and he was talking about men and the 7 things women can do to be a better help mate to them. I have to say I was blown away- it wasn’t anything like I had heard before. It seemed simple enough, hang out, accept him, listen to him, and then he got to number 4. Believe him. Ok… Dan went on to explain. When husbands tell wives they are the most beautiful woman on the earth they mean it with all their hearts. They don’t see anyone else. I felt smacked between the eyes and I think I even leaned forward in my chair. It wasn’t so simple anymore.

I look in the mirror getting ready and Husband comes in, “you’re so pretty”. I used to quip back “Really? “And then list of all the flaws I could see to him. Then I changed that response to “thank you” while listing said flaws in my head. REALLY! I don’t know what he is seeing but it certainly isn’t the same reflection I am looking at. My forehead is broke out and red, I have chin hairs, fine lines around my eyes, my hair is a mess, and I am too fat. I am pretty all right. Do you hear the self-contempt?

I have bought into the lie. The lie the world tells me that what my husband wants, what all husbands want, is the perfectly made up, never a snotty nose, pimple, or chin hair, hair always in place, skinny and fit, wife. I have let the lie the world tells me define me and tell me what is beautiful. The truth is that isn’t what my husband or any other husbands I know, want either.

The truth is I am beautiful to my husband because he sees past the physical to what does define me- my heart. He sees my love for God, him, my family and friends. He sees my compassion and kindness, my passion for writing and the Chicago Bears; he has seen me triumph amidst struggle. I’m beautiful because I stand by him and hold his hand when the seas get rough and I don’t give up on us. He sees the real me. And it isn’t this fragile body.

That is what my husband wants and what I think other husbands want too. They want the real us, not some fake made up version. They want us to believe that we are the most beautiful woman on earth because they do. They want us to see what they see, past the physical to the stuff inside.

I refuse to believe the lie the world tells me any longer. I am beautiful just the way I am. I will believe Husband when he tells me I am, and refuse the thoughts of self-contempt. Who is with me?